Ranting Goes “Prime Time”.

I’m up early today. As I consume that first cup of Hazelnut coffee, I get ideas. Can’t be stopped! While watching one of my favorite “talk shows”, I run across one of the best demagogues I’ve ever heard. As he responds to the host, it takes him less than 5 seconds to divert the discussion to hyperbole and extreme generalization. He never answered a question — not one.

But I give him credit. He’s really good at what he does.

There’s another guy on another “news” show just as impressive with his word count/second. Why do I watch him, you might ask. I have no choice. He’s there 5 days/week because my wife rules the remote control in that time slot while I’m slaving away clearing the dishes from dinner.

As I watch, I marvel at his ability to take in oxygen while he’s talking. He never pauses. I can’t detect that he ever inhales. I must add this about this guy even if it’s not related to words/minute. He closes his broadcast with, “I’ll see you tomorrow”. No! No you won’t see me. I can see you. You can’t see the viewers, dummy. I concede the triviality of this point, but it’s such an egregious semantic faux pas, that it must be called out.

As a side note, the reason all of my examples are men is that on the most popular “news/talking/reader” shows, there are no females unless you call straight/laced BBC “major”. Right! Nobody else does either.

Fox recently disqualified themselves from the majors. Right now nobody’s really sure what they are beyond bald-faced liars.

My 3rd example is what most viewers would call normal. He’s a flawless reader and has outstanding comedic material. None of the 3 examples are reporters or journalists. Their essential skill set is rehearsing, reading, and ranting.

This morning’s reader, the comedian, while ranting about bloggers who rant well beyond the point of overkill, does exactly what he’s condemning —– he rants. One of his favorite topics is the intellectual pollution of the internet. He then proceeds to further publicize for 10 minutes what anyone who’s still breathing knew full well 10 years ago. But, he’s a comedian and, there’s no better source for pablum for the masses than the internet. However, like the first 2 examples, he’s excellent at doing his schtick.

I propose, right here, right now that we put these guys and all nationally known “readers” to the test. Let’s have them compete contemporaneously on stage in front of 3 judges with impeccable resume’s. Competition like this would have a huge following. There would be no lack of participants given the bloated ego that usually accompanies notoriety.

Give them one page of material and 30 seconds to read it. Now push the start button and let’s see if they can come up with their own material, without profanity, on the fly.

Sponsors are probably lining up right now to bankroll this show.

Thank you for reading my rant.