The Department of Nonsense

For 15 days now, we’ve been wrestling with the assembly of Hatley Park, a Springbok 1000-piece puzzle. 

One Autumn leaf looks a lot like every other. 

The next puzzle I do will have no bright red in it. 

I’m sure you’re wondering what I do with completed puzzles. 

I just mounted the first completed puzzle in my completed puzzle gallery a.k.a. my garage. 

My wife’s response to hanging them up inside the house was less than enthusiastic.

The brain puzzle currently behind my insomnia right now is: why is so little being done to eliminate nonsense? 

Whenever I see or hear whining, ranting, complaining about any one of thousands of issues, I immediately look for the solution being proposed. 

The person who says, “Here’s the problem”, has the inherent obligation to tell me “Here’s the solution”. 

Where’s the antidote for nonsense?

This blog’s objective is to develop that antidote. 

Admittedly, my solutions are “aspirational”, a.k.a. bulloney. 

But, thanks to my ground-breaking clarification that the sun does not rise we can now discard 404 years (Galileo was convicted of heresy for making that assertion in 1616) of nonsensicalreferences to “sunrise” and “sunset” in art, literature, music, and astronomical description.

That’s just one solution. 

Here’s my mega-fix —– Establish a cabinet level position to challenge   all “conventional wisdom”. 

Would it be a big deal? There are already 15 cabinets that no one in the U.S. can name without Googling.

Call it the Department of Nonsense.

I volunteer to serve as Secretary without pay. 

So much nonsense —- So little time.

If this sounds to you like I’m getting dangerously close to political ranting, let me be clear. The nonsense to which I’m referring outweighs any current political issue. 

High on the “nonsense” priority list would be prescription drug commercials. 

Around 10 A.M. on most days in my home, the T.V. goes on a kind of “auto-pilot” 

It’s just there.

We have turned it off from time to time, but we have a low tolerance for complete silence.

So, the background noise becomes that ubiquitous drug commercial directive, “Talk to your Doctor”.

As Secretary of Nonsense, my first official act would be to declare a national Talk to Your Doctor Day (TYDD).

Hallmark will want to capitalize on this very special day with thematic gifts and humorous cards. 

The drug to be featured on the inaugural TYDD (saving keystrokes again) will be Kybella, an injection to reduce or eliminate your double chin. And, since we would all prefer the single chin, this effort should have wide nationalappeal. 

All Americans would be encouraged to call their doctor on that day and report back to the “Nonsense” website.

Were they able to talk to their doctor?

If so, how long did it take to reach her/him in person?

How many chins do you currently have?

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