The Depths of Deprivation

It’s here! We’ve hit rock bottom. Up until last Saturday, our family was just fine dealing with all the product shortages being blamed on the Pandemic. But when we called to order a pizza, the message said “due to the labor shortage, we are closed”. 

What?

One of the pillars of modern American culture is crumbling. Now what do we do when my wife decides she’s not going to cook?

I grew up in a town where the pizza “parlors”, as they were known in the 60’s and 70’s, were owned by “Mom and Pop”, and offered a nutritious and tasty meal on one metal pan. You could gobble down over 4009 calories (that’s not a typo. I did the research. The average gluttonous serving size of pizza had 4009 calories). In addition to the pizza, we washed it down with additional calories in high-sugar-content soft drinks. 

I understand! I accept the fact that things changed, but this is too much. When crisis strikes in so many other areas the U.S. government steps in. Provides funding and manpower to alleviate the hardship. Forms a new agency to rescue the industry — creates a new cabinet and appoints a Secretary of Pizza! 

The U.S. currently has over 12 million teenagers old enough to answer the phone, spread sauce, add sausage, black olives, and green peppers. Make pizza making a requirement for at least one year of their life. They’re old enough to drive. They’ll learn GPS in the delivery function.

Call your Congress Person, or Senator. Insist that immediate action be taken. Don’t be shocked if nothing happens.

         

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