Pee Before You Leave (PBYL)


Yes! I’ve backtracked to naming my articles with the full date below just in case a literary critic, 19 years from now decides to do ananthology of Bob’s best articles. Its date stamped!

On to the task at hand……..

A significant part of my life’s odyssey is influenced by the Packer factor. i.e. The Green Bay Packer factor, or as they’re known in Green Bay, the “Packa’s”. Green Bay games had life or death significance for me from the age of 14 on. It wasn’t until 2017, however that I actually made the effort to attend a Packer game at Lambeau Field. It was on my bucket list. The game that I had chosen was scheduled for Dec. 3rd., the same day as my wedding anniversary. Now, there’s no way that Joan, my wife, was going to make this pilgrimage with me. Fortunately, my granddaughter was expecting her first child and chose Dec. 3rd for the baby shower. All the pieces were falling in the right places. My son was living in Minneapolis at the time and invited me to stay with him and drive to Green Bay for the Sunday game. The ladies —wife, daughter, and granddaughter, were delighted to learn that I would be gone the day of the baby shower.

What does the preceding have to do with leaving or peeing????

Larry David, the guy behind the Seinfeld sitcom, was making the late-night talk show circuit. It was January of 2020 and the discussion went to New Year’s resolutions. David came out with “Pee before you leave”. Doesn’t matter where you’re going or when you last peed. Just do it. If you’re wondering right now, like I am, why I would remember this and practice it, it has to do with my trip to Lambeau Field.

I will always cherish the memory of the whole trip, the football game, and the “guy time” with my son, with the exception for Tuesday, Dec. 5th, departure day. 

After enjoying the game in balmy 55 degree and sunny weather, and celebrating the victory into the wee hours of the morning, my plan was to recover Monday in Minnesota and catch an early flight back home Tuesday morning. 

Blizzards have a reputation for poor timing. When I woke up in the dark Tuesday morning, my first move was to check and see how much snow had fallen during the night. Didn’t look too bad. Under normal circumstances the drive time from my son’s home to the airport was about 45 minutes. After about 15 minutes on the road, we realized that reaching the airport could easily become an odyssey in itself. 

With dawn’s early light, traffic came to a halt. We sat there in silence, both of us wondering why the other had exercised such poor judgement in choosing to drive in a blizzard or scheduling a flight which required a wake-uptime of 4 AM.

Now we have full daylight and we’re sitting dead still in traffic on a long looping entrance ramp to the freeway. 

Bob, next time, pee before you leave!!!

There are times when public exposure is a secondary concern. That’s when I spot a utility shack adjacent the on-ramp, exit the car, tromp through the new-fallen snow, hide, as best I can, behind the utility shack —— disaster averted! 

New Year’s resolutions are seldom taken serious enough to become habit. PBYL is the exception.





I wonder too. However, in the last 21 months I’ve grown to appreciate the wisdom therein. 



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