Walking and Chewing Gum; The Literal Interpretation

Apparently politicians of all stripes have a serious problem with basic motor skills based upon how often they accuse each other of being unable to walk and chew gum simultaneously. Just this morning I watched a very important Governor from a very important state accuse his opposition of this affliction. Instead of criticizing each other, I urge them to address the problem with constructive solutions.

Why not have all freshmen Congressmen and Senators tested for what is apparently a crucial skills set before they’re sworn in? Those that fail in either the walking or chewing test receive remedial training. Let’s be constructive verses critical.

In order to maintain an overall satisfactory level of both skills in both houses of Congress let’s create 2 new cabinet positions — Secretary of Walking and Secretary of Chewing gum. This enables all politicians who may have a serious deficiency in one or the other to specialize. Maybe even form 2 new political parties — the walkers and the chewers. The walkers won’t need a “chair” man.

“Write your congressman.” Remember that old phrase? Who does that anymore? Text your congressmen. Urge them to seek help. Pick one, please. Walk or Chew gum!