Timing is Everything

In sex, comedy, and football, timing is everything. The right partner, the right topic, and the right play, at the right time will ensure success.

At the moment, as a comedian, I’m having a hard time finding humor with all of the turmoil we see in this country.

But I refuse to be deterred. I will never be deTURD! 

It’s not writer’s block. It’s a question of my ability to find and express humor.

It’s a challenge.

I hope the following serves as a refreshing break from the turmoil. 

Here’s a few snippets from my days as the owner and operator of a bread store.

What motivates anyone to become the owner of a small business? (usually, most people would refer to me as a small business owner, but I’m not small —– 5’ 10” and ¾ inches tall.)
I did it and I’m still mystified by my own decision to leave a nice comfy do-nothing corporate position and risk the financial security we enjoyed at the time.

Here we go —–!

Moving Day

At the time, we decided that saving money was more important than common sense, so we rented a moving van. Four adults and 2 kids, without knowing what we’re doing, packed the entire household’s contents into the van. Just to add an extra element of the unexpected to our adventure, we decide to haul our 20’ boat behind the moving van. 

The truck is loaded. Bob and Joan Krueger are about to embark on their journey from Wisconsin to North Carolina. One truck, with a 20’ boat attached, and 2 cars carry my wife and I and my daughter’s family of four. 

After cruising for a while on the freeway, I thought I heard the theme song from Beverly Hillbillies in the background. I envision Ma and Pa Kettle.

The trip was boring and uneventful until we reached Ashville, North Carolina where we, fortunately, noticed that the frame of the boat trailer was cracked and about to split. We were one major pot-hole away from wrecking the boat and causing freeway mayhem. 

We laugh about it now (just a little.)

Baker Bob’s First Day

It’s 5:05 A.M. The phone is ringing. I roll to my left still partially unconscious in a deep sleep.


“Bob! This is Mark. Are you coming in today?”

What was to be my first day running my own business, I was “failure to report”!

Mark was the previous owner of the business and was very generous with his time and efforts to help us learn the business. But there’s only so much one man can do.

Michael Wilson

After a couple of years running our bakery, we were approached by a church group seeking employment for recent immigrants who had not yet learned to speak English fluently. 

We gave it a try.

Our first immigrant hire was a young man whose family had fled Iraq due to religious persecution. (I know. This doesn’t sound real funny so far).

His name at the time is Houman. He turns out to be a wonderful employee. We still see him today — 13 years after selling the business.

One day, Houman and I are the only people at the kneading table.

Not talking, just kneading dough.

By the way, don’t we all (k)need dough?

The silence is a little awkward, so I came up with a question for Houman: ‘Is English a difficult language to learn? For example, if I said ‘Miracle Whip’, what would you say that is?

Houman’s response? “A weapon?”

Upon achieving American citizenship, Houman was given the opportunity to change his name. He couldn’t, however, change his accent. So, he became Michael Wilson with a heavy middle-eastern accent.

It may take planning and effort, but “live, laugh, love, and be happy”.

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