Conceive

Before I actually get to the article, ya’ll should be aware that, seriously, the following commentary may be slightly to moderately offensive. It’s Acerbic!

Common synonyms for acerbic are stinging, biting, pungent, and acidic. As a general rule, few of us want to be bitten, or stung, we don’t like stinky stuff, and we avoid acid. The comedians whom I admire most (George Carlin) made a career out of offending the audience, and the audiences loved it. Hope you are offended by the following

    Welcome to Acerbination! 

Conceive 

Seldom will you see the word conceive being used as a call to action. As today’s pundits enlighten us with their definition of “culture war”, by the way, why is it always a “war”? Remember Bill O’Reilly’s daily rants about the “war” on Christmas circa 2004? Nary a shot was fired. In this same context, politicians insist we must “fight” for this and that.

“Fight”? How about more love? Physically speaking.

You’re probably aware of a U.S. President who recently got into a lot of trouble for using the word “fight” to encourage his followers to express their dissatisfaction by visiting Washington D.C. and letting lawmakers know how they felt by chasing them down the Capitol’s hallways. They did make quite a mess and made no effort to clean up after themselves.

Anyway, back to “conceive” —— The pundits are telling us that the “fight”/ ”culture war” expressed in the fierce antagonism between the Right and Left is grounded in the Caucasians’fear that they’re losing their grip on the reigns of the USA because of the growth of minority population and the relative decline of Caucasians. In twenty years, they will be outnumbered.

Today’s efforts by the Right to stem the inevitable tide of this huge power shift with their voting restrictions, gerrymandering of congressional and judicial elections, “stacking” judicial appointments with Conservative judges, tons of money, and the limitless distortion of facts — a.k.a. lies, are little more than the death throes of a malnourished, desperate, Republican party. And, by the way, why do they call themselves a “Party”?? They’re obviously not having a good time!

Alright, once again, back to the title of this piece ——. Barring a successful attempt by the Right to unravel our election process, the only effective solution for the Caucasians’ numbers problem is to increase the birthrate of white people. And, if the Lefties want to keep up, they’ll need to launch their own increase-the-base campaign. 

Imagine both sides dropping all that expensive legal work to change voting processes and focusing on creating more voters of their corresponding persuasion/color. Envision changing the party’s colors from the current red and blue to pink and baby blue. Both sides would want to use both colors. It would be the first 100% bi-partisan action in decades. 

Conception just isn’t that difficult. What!!? As little as 5 minutes? No need to fully undress. You can get it done on your break at work depending on how well you get along with the management.

Americans have done it before. 1954’s birthrate was over twice what it is now.

Right here is where I need an acerbic slogan for increased conception. Any suggestions?