Let Us Spray

Let’s introduce a quick, cold, stream of water square in the earhole as a deterrent for irritating behavior.

It works. I used this form of corporal punishment on my employees in my bread store.

You need stealth. To get a nice even stream of water right down into the auditory canal, you need the element of surprise. It leaves no scars. The only evidence is wetness but that could have come from a multitude of sources. No fingerprints.

My wife and I bought a made-from-scratch bread store in 2002. In 2007 we celebrated the sale of that business to a guy with a prosthetic leg. 5 years after that, 2012, the one-legged guy sold the same bakery to a couple with strong retailing experience. They’ve been trying to sell it for the past 5 years. We were not alone in our disenchantment with getting up at 4 AM to start mixing bread batter in very large bowls.

Back to the title of this mini-tome.

In an environment where nearly every task seems to be a priority such as baking, humor and having fun is a necessity. The deft handling of a water spray bottle provided that humor. Sneaking up on my daughter and spraying in her earhole from less than 6 inches, set the mood for the next 15 minutes. Arching the spray from the front of the store to the dish washing area in the back created the effect of the roof leaking. My reward was watching the employee scan the ceiling to determine the source of the leak.

You, the reader, may have already concluded that this kind of nonsense may be the primary reason for our business’ marginal performance and, you’re probably right. My son built his business from nothing into a multi-million dollar profit operation in 15 years. He credits that success to strict adherence to a comprehensive aptitude test for employment candidates. He just sold the business to those employees who scored high on that test. They were hired to perform manual tasks and, became entrepreneurs.

It’s unlikely that I would have passed that test.

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